Barney Stinson’s Playbook

barneyLately I’ve been feeling a bit down to be honest. In your mid-20s you begin to notice that surnames of your female friends on Facebook begin to change into different ones, and your feed is flooded with photos from weddings or pictures of newborn babies. I mean, some girls marry even earlier, but now it really starts to sting. There’s the group that will say, ‘you never know, love is just ‘round the corner’, or the peeps who’ll go on and claim that there’s nothing wrong with being single and you shouldn’t be ostracized for that. I can’t quite agree with either of those opinions. So who do I turn to for some help? Barney Stinson of How I Met Your Mother, and The Playbook.

When real life folks can’t seem to offer you any comfort, only authoritative figures present in pop culture may show you the way. Is it that implausible to seek assistance from a gay man who plays a bro, who happens to be a notorious womanizer? I don’t think so.

frontcbackcWhile browsing through an online book shop I saw The Playbook, and decided to buy it and see if it’s going to be a game-changer. The book will almost immediately call you out about being ‘too pathetic to pick up girls on your own’ (touché) and resorting to tricks instead, but only after it provides the readers with some wisdom about boobs and plays.
What follows is a comprehensible description of dozens of techniques for picking up girls. All of the methods include information about the success rate in %, requirements, who may fall for them and what kind of trouble you can possibly run into. So has The Playbook brought me the enlightenment?

chicks thechickThere’s this section for women as well. Duh.

Unfortunately, from the easiest techniques to the most elaborate heists, almost all of them have very little chance of success. Basically, the ones which guarantee over 90% success rate in getting girls require fame, money or the looks. Bummer, that’s what I’ve known for quite some time.

dudeThis book seems like such a ripoff at times.

graphFrom my own experience the part about chocolate is very true, so I’m freaking sure the rest of it is right as well.

In the end The Playbook taught me many ways of how to get slapped in the face, or just become a sex offender. So essentially, it’s a not-to-do list if you ever plan to be in a relationship. Unless you’re handsome and/or rich/famous. But then you don’t need this book.

weightOne of the less risky techniques, though I kinda wonder about that segue from point 3 to 4.

genieAnyone wanna try this out?

The Playbook cost me like 12 bucks and it’s a hilarious read, especially in the context of How I Met Your Mother TV series. It didn’t change my life, but at least it partially washed away the horrendous ending of the ninth season.

I thought I’d throw it out here as a more reliable source of knowledge.

 

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